1) James Brown – It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World
What does every chauvinistic Rhythm & Blues classic need? That’s right, the worlds most renowned tenor and prolific womaniser warbling all over the 2nd verse!
2) Barry White – My First, My Last, My Everything
Seeing him sing alongside “the Walrus of Love”, we were inspired to invent a new affectionate nickname for Pavarotti: “The Manatee of Ruining Incredible Pop Songs”
3) Duran Duran – Ordinary World
You can understand what they were thinking. Most epic, bombastic Pop song of all time? Check. Most revered singer in the world? Check. Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned. Thanks to the mismatch between Simon Le Bon’s fragile mewing and Pavarotti’s girthy throat-thunder, this is maybe one of the worst musical moments in history.
4) Spice Girls – Viva Forever
Virgin Records executive #1: “Okay guys, Geri Halliwell’s buggered off and left us in the lurch. who can we get to fill in for her on tour?”
Virgin Records executive #2: “We need someone with sex appeal. Someone who the teenage boys want and the teenage girls want to be…”
Virgin Records executive #3: “Luciano Pavarotti?”
Richard Branson: “BINGO!”
5) George Michael – …Go Down On Me
Tread carefully, Guy. There’s not a lot of jokes you can make about George Michael and a dead man without being sued for some kind of libel. I think I’m still allowed to say this is absolutely bloody awful though, aren’t I? Total car-crash viewing…
6) Nessun Dorma
I don’t want you to go away thinking I’m some sort of tenor-bashing, classical music hating fool with no sense of respect for the greats of yesteryear. There’s no doubt that Pavarotti was an incredible singer, and the reason I’ve included Puccini’s beautiful aria “Nessun Dorma” in this list is because Big Luciano categorically ruined it for every other tenor in the world.
Nobody else will ever be able to perform it with such ownership and ardour to such a rapturous reception. If you can make it through this video of Pavarotti’s last performance without a tear in your eye, you’re an inhuman monster and I want nothing to do with you.
Latest posts by Guy Perchard (see all)
- Edinburgh Meadows Festival 2016 – Red Dog Music stage line-up - May 27, 2016
- Roland Juno DS: the best budget keyboard on the planet? - May 20, 2016
- Looking for percussion in Edinburgh? Check out Red Dog Music! - May 17, 2016